How long can she keep staring at me? Or is she really staring at the big apple logo on my iBook? Hard to tell, kina cute though. I'm sure I've seen here before. She's with a worthless guy, the kind who will never really make her happy. She's not happy now. He doesn't care, it's all about him getting off.

Fuck that! She's sure things will one day get better, but this is a lie. The day she wakes up from her dream, she will already have lost. When she's thirty, and has a couple of kids to take care of. At that point it won't batter that's she's lost. It will be hard enough just to keep going, make ends meet. It's not like her husband is going to help any.

The questions pour through that girls head, but then are thown away. Life isn't that bad yet, it will get better. I'll make him a better man. I know I can do it.

It's not long before she ends up in a situation that she can not escape. Not unless she gets out of it before hand. This won't happen, I already know that. People are so easy to predict. It sucks, why!?

It's quite boring to talk to someone when you already know what the response will be. But this is how life goes. You get usto it after a while, boring as it is.

Thier is another topic I'd like to cover here also. Why the hell do things work out the way they do? It's almost as if thier has to be some reason behind all of this, even though I know it all comes down to random chance.

When ever I get into some sort of bad situation, someone, or something comes along to aide. It's like I can't help it. Quite strange. Car breaks down, and someone offers me a ride. Happens again, and thier is a guy to help fix it. Happens yet again, and yet another ride. I'm stuck homeless, and a nice family who I don't really know takes me in, it happens again, and then again. What the hell is happening here? It's as if I can not fail unless I want to. Even then it's a bitch. I've tried to fail, but it only ends up in a diffrent kind of success. I do not understand this.

I'm tempted to just get a plane ticket to .au, and see how things fair. With my luck I have little chance of failure. Well, that's my theroy anyway.

That's not to say that I don't like my current job, but it's really wearing on me. Tech support does that, aside from that the commute is part of the problem. If only I had a reliable vechicle. That would make life better. As of now I spend most of my driving time wondering if the car will make it another mile. Trying to decide what to do if the whole thing just falls apart while doing 65 down the highway. It's a nasy thought. I'm yet to come up with a good solution. Hmm, the car that I'm currently driving has an air bag. I hate those, about as much as seatbelts.

An accident is just an excuse for time off ;) Not to mention a good excuse to be lazy, and roll around in a wheel chair. Hmm, but that's a fate for later. Due to damage that has occured to my body that will be my fate one day. Confined to a chair. Maby worse. At least I can expect to have another ten to fifteen years till then. But the day draws nearer every day.

At least I have one good leg ;) Not that it matters much, since it gets quite overused compared to the other one. Being as the only one I that can fully sustain my weight for more than a short time. It's also one of the reasons I cary everything that has serious weight on my right side. That way it shifts my center of gravity to the right. To the leg that can actualy support it all. Hmm, though it does put extra stress on it.

I should probably go home, and sleep at some point in time. Hmm, but that would be far too much effort.

Do you want the answers? I can give them to you...

EOF