From oracle@cs.indiana.edu Fri Dec 17 22:20:37 1999
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 1999 23:12:03 -0500 (EST)
From: The Internet Oracle 
To: xpurple 
Subject: The Oracle replies!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Great, and powerfull oracle.  More powerfull than superman, though not in
> the expected way, since your brute strength is not your true power, but
> your mind.  Your quick wit...whatnot.  Who is almost as cool as Mr. T.
> Please tell me the answer to the question I ask.
> 
> Is my webpage any good?
> http://incolor.inetnebr.com/xpurple/
> 
> Note of intrest, it was writen with lynx users in mind only (well, mostly)
> 
> Thanks orrie!
> 

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Thomas, you should already know better than to let an Oracle into your
} life.  You will now suffer my opinions, and they're not necessarily what
} you wanted.  Oracles can be worse than parents.
} 
} Lynx:  You are right.  Use Lynx.  Avoid all that slow grafix stuff.  And
} the stupid noises, too.  Lynx is also an excellent test of whether a
} page is well designed.  If it stynx on Lynx, it stynxxx!
} 
} Spelling:  Yours is ghawwd-awwfull!  No excuses.  Teach yourself how to
} spell correctly.  I can do it, even with half my Omniscience tied behind
} my back, and so can you.  Forget spelling programs in word processors,
} because they won't catch the really bad errors, where you get a word
} that's actually spelled right, perhaps even sounds right, but it's not
} the one you want, like sight, site, and cite.  Or write and right, or
} inside, insight and incite.
} 
} Freinds:  The word is spelled "Friends."  No, waitaminit, your friends
} really *are* freinds!
} 
} Girls:  Your link for *delphi is wrong.  Oh, and Auriel can spell.  Ask
} her how -she- does it.  BTW, I know why girls go for the turkeys with
} lots of pretty feathers and no brains.  It's for the excitement.  Guys
} get to ride motorcycles or drink themselves silly.  Or both at once,
} smashing into a rock wall for that extra thrill.  Girls are supposed to
} stay home and be good.  So for excitement, they feel attracted to the
} most mind-bending, hell-raising guy they see.  Especially if they act on
} emotion, rather than reason.
} 
} Your so-called writing:  Your teacher's comments are worse than your
} essay.
} 
} Relativity:  It did not stimulate my barn cells.  I understand
} relativity.  You clearly do not.
} 
} You really don't need an Oracle inside here, messing you up more. 
} Ghhodd, man, you are messed up enough already.
} 
} You owe the Oracle all your money.