My response to a bit of junk mail that appeared in my box today

From xpurple@email.com Mon Dec 20 19:19:19 1999
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 1999 19:18:52 -0600 (CST)
From: xpurple 
To: postmaster 
Subject: Re: Lizards!

I am pleased to invite you to go fuck yourself.  I don't enjoy getting
HTML shit in my mail box.  Some of us still hold to the 'standards'.
Unlike you.  HTML mail is *NOT* standard.  It breaks the protocal.  If you
question me, feel free to respond.  Oh, and if you value your soul, don't
bother me with HTMLified mail again.  It serves no reason but to help
IDIOTS like you get on the net, and curroupt it with trash.  Totaly
pointless.  The content on the net has become very little since every
little fucker has access.  I wish we could go back in time to where you
actualy had to know something to be on the internet.  And before the
fucking web existed.  I hate the web.  Can't stand it.  Takes up way too
much bandwith, and is used primarly for either porn, or stupid e-cards.
I'm still trying to figure out which offend me more, I mean, it's a pretty
hard tossup.  I mean, at least with porn, you know what your getting
yourself into.  But with a fucking e-card.  They are HTML, and are sent
via mail...and by this point, I hope you understand how much I hate
getting HTML in my mailbox.  One of the reasons I hate getting HTML in my
mail has to do with the fact that I use a *REAL* computer.  None of this
fucking pansy ass windows shit here...UNIX.  If you don't know how to use
it, you had better learn...it's going to take over shortly.  And, pretty
much anybody who doesn't convert will end up as roadkill.  Oh, and it has
a realy, realy high learning curve.  So, if you arn't that bright (like I
assume you arn't for sending me HTML in my fucking mail), Your not going
to understand it.  At this point I'd realy like to quote something from
the UDE (Ultimate Desktop Enviorment) group.  "UDE -- Get usto it!".

Ok, now that all that's been sorted out, I'd also like to say that it was
rather rude of you to give me a hostname that wasn't resolved out
properly.  194.151.104.199 resolves out to www.homepages.hetnet.nl, Why
couldn't you just say www.homepages.hetnet.nl, instead of the IP?  With
the IP I have no idea what type of site I'm going to.  But, with the
actual hostname, I can tell where the server is at a glance.  Most
specificly what county it's in, who ownes it, and what type of group runs
it.  I realy like having this information.  This is why hostnames where
invented in the first place.

Ok, now I'd like you to repeat after me...

I will never use HTML in email ever again, and if I do, I give you full
permission to fuck me up the ass with a mace.

I will resolve my hostnames out whenever possible, and if I don't, I will
enjoy very much you removing my genitals with a rusy spoon.

Now after you've said that (and ment it (if you didn't mean it, repeat
till you do)), go and format your HD, and by an iMac.  Or, if you prefer
get sodomized by a horse (both pretty bad in my opinion).


Have a nice day,
xpurple@email.com