Here's another random school paper...you can tell from this that I have alawys had a love of writeing...been doing it a lot since as long as I could...too bad most of it's gone now. This is one of the better ones. It got good shock value! But, if times where like they are now, I would have been imeaditly been sent to the guidence councler...maby worse...enjoy!

How to fuck up the world.

By purple

Thanks to virl, wild dog, seilent service, marlbro reds, acid, the high lord satan, apple maniace, the necrophiliac (for his awesome dos-file skills), bowulf, megadeth, dave, witermute, nemo, and chance (even though he's a wimp!)

Fuck off all retarted people who don't own computers and any welfare starving shit headed bastard who doesn't have a modem!

When you like me, and get bored easily it's very hard to keep functioning the way your parents expect you to. I would go out with **** all the time and destroy everything we could find that looked stupid, get drunk off my ass, trip on acid (like I'm doing right now), use the necronimiconm to summon a watcher to kill a fed, my douchbag bratty sister, and the fat sickening son of a bitch that lives next door to me, and my parents would very rarely do anything to try to stop me. I guess they just thought I ws going through a phase or something like that. Well I've finaly hit upon the perfect combination of things to do that not only get your parents to react, they are a hell of a lot of fun, and cause so much evil, chaos, and havoc that satan will be shure to reserve a good seat in hell fo ryou so now here are step by step instructions on HOW TO FUCK UP THE WORLD!

Step one: get a large supply of plastic garbage bags, gas or other very flammable shit, and a flamethrower or some toer way to light fires from a distance (just to make shure you don't die yourself before your ready) Also I forgot to mention, take a good ammount of drugs before you start doing this so you'll be able to finish what yuu start I recommend about three hits of blotter acid (away album cover is best, that's what I use), about 2 grams of weed (smoked), some mescaline if you can get it (arizona is a great place to pick it yourself), and of course the good old amarican tradition of JACK DANIELS. Most people mix this shit with coke, but I have invented a new way to do it, which you do by mixing it with JOLT cola instead of tTHIS (goddanm fucking caps lock key!) will get you realy going, you many want to use some speed as well, so you don't pass out and some ludes or other type of downer just to keep you balanced well now make shure you can still stand up (once you get that far, the rest will come naturly) and get in your pickup (if you don't have a pickup thier is no hope for you!) and drive Oh, remebe to take the gas, bags, and light with you

Step two: Drive to a secluded area and prepair for you assult on the armies of the conformist bastards. What your going to be doing here is summoning a demon This is one of the weaker types according to the necromnicon so you can control it easy in your drugged state, but powerfull enough to actualy be of use to you So draw your pentagram on the ground, get a slayer symble in the center (no montly crue!!!!) or the demon will laugh it's ass off at you before killing you and eating your soul. And that's a big waste of time Not to mention no fun at all. Set candles at all cardinal points and cut a long incision down the length of your arm about from mid-bicep to just before your wrist as you don't want to bleed to death, just enough to get abou 3/4 pint or so. Drip all this blood inside the pent, and chant the follwoing:

"YOGGIH PPEDRILS, STOWART EHNTAHL SHILGLI DRAGGULS UOHT!"

Say this5 times and you should notice the candles flickering (hmm I belive the RUSH is staring to come on now, this sucker realy was worth 40$ a sheet!!)! By the way that shit up there that you say is not any kind of backwards bullshit, it is the real stuff. I paid 40 bucks for my copy of the you know what so I aughtta know now where whas I oh, yah. Once the danm thing appears then you need to establish control over it real quick before it starts getting any ideas. By the way in case you are wondering what it will look like it is a big motherfucker approx 20 feet tall with green leathery skin. If you get the wrong one it doesn't realy matter that much anyway since you'll be dying soon but it helps. So now get it to fly along above your truck (tell it to be invisible so you don't have people starring at you!) and drive back to wherever it is that you are going to destroy.

Step Three: stop back at your house real quick and pick u the following. If you don't have all this at your house then just go by a hardware store and a drugstore and pick it up. If the owner objects then just take out his kneecaps with your crowbar, and he won't be going anywhere for a long time.

30 dozen hammers

50 gallons of paint (assorted colors is nice, but not nessary)

(Jesus this is wierd, have any of you ever seen the letters on your screen wiggle and bouncing...didint think so!!!) now where was I,

5-10 tanks of propane

100+ gallons of gas (for a seperate use than the gas I already mentioned)

From the drugstore (or your closet if your like me and keep a constant supply of drug ever made)

1000 doses of pseudophedrine (there we go, I spelled it right well I have got the catalog next to me so fuck it anwyay, it doesn't mean shit neuither does your mama I think I'm gettng off track - well then again it is kind of amazing cause my fingers are wtiching so bad)

5000 doses of LSD

250 doeses of gualudes

600 cases of JACK DANIELS

Ok, now for the good part. Consume all these yourself! HAHAHAHAHAAHA! I bet you thought you where supposto put them in the cites water suppy or something! but now you beter get mving cause this is all going to take effect within an hour! but fi you wnt to save some to put in the city water then go ahead, you won't have quite as much fun but who the fuck am I to tell you exactly how to do things.

Step four: Drive to the heart of the city on the way see how many little old ladies and fag poodles you can hit. When you get to the tallest building in town smash into a fire hydrant in front of it. now get out and run like a bitch *Just have the demon cary all the shit for you! and go to the FUCKEN TOP of the building here is where you do all this make the demon inhanle, all the propane, and give him the smaller ammont of gas (the one I talked about first, go back about 70 lines or so/) to drink now hes all set now YOU have to get on his back make hm carry the hammers and paint and the larger ammount of gas. Have him take off and fly over the city as he flys just throw hammers down at building's windows and people and paint both of those too! Now I bet you thinking I forgot all about those garbage bags, and the flamethrower. Hell now I didn't! with the litle bit of propane he's got left have him blow up the bags so they make a giant balloon now take the big of ammount of gas and drink it (after all those drugs it should be a snap) and jump with you weight off him an all that propane in him and with that baloon he should take off straight up into heaven, where he will cause some wicked shit to happen! As for you, you will fly down and hit the ground, and be going so fast that you go right through all the way to hell. Once you get there all the gas in you will ignite, and BOOM! Satan will be proud of you for shure, a perfect ending to a perfect day!

Note from the teacher: This is good, you may need to work a bit on it a bit. you tend to lose me once in a while when you run on.

Wish I could find the final revision...all I remember, is that I got a pretty good grade on it