So, you want to see my new car?

It's an 87 Dodge Diplomat, in very good condition. I wouldn't say quite mint, but it's basicly that good. Ya know, it's an older car you have to expect a few paint chips and such. But it runs very nice, rides well, and is pretty :)

The only major downside is the size. It's a *HUGE* car! Makes it a bit more trouble to find parking spaces. But the trunk is large enough to hide several bodys! Hehe, you knew about my second job right? If not, you will never know.

One other downside is the radio. It's stuck on AM. Stuck!!! I can't change it. That sucks, but at least it works at all. Rush Limbagh does drive me mad though. Goddanm conservitive bastard.

I also enjoy Dr. Laura, she's an idiot. But at least she's funny ;) Heh, shows me that thier are people in this world who suck far more than I do. About the only major bonus of the radio situation is that I get to listen to Art Bell on the way home from work. Hehe.

Reminds me of when I usto be a security guard. That's all I listend to at the time. AM radio. Music is good, but it gets old if it's the same thing over and over. Most importantly, talk shows kept me alert, and thinking.

I look like a college student with my backpack. Hmm, that could be good in some ways. Though I've yet to decide exactly how. Something about college girls being wild? No, that's not it. Last thing I want is a wild girl. They are far more trouble than thier worth.

Also to note, I'm wearing an odd shirt today. It's got a girl on the front who is sucking on a gun. Yep, as if she was about to pull the triger and blow her brains out. That gets odd looks ;)

Have you ever thought about suicide? I sure have. Though I can't do it. No way at all. It makes no sence to end my life when thier is still a change of it getting better. Even in the most desperate of situations, I would never do it.

That doesn't mean I don't think about it. I'm sure everybody does. Did you know that jumping out of a window is a pretty bad way to go about such a thing? Falls from less than 10 storys are not fatel every time. Some helpfull fuck may actualy save you.

Nobody cares anyway. If I where to pop off, and shoot myself it would make somebody happy. That's the last thing I want. Might as well stick around, and make sure they suffer.

The best way to defeat your enimies is to outlive them. I don't remember who said that, but it's very true. Why fight when eventualy they will just die of old age? Exactly.

Another problem is the mess. Say you where sitting alone in your room. Listening to some fitting music. Something like "Big Man With a Gun", by NIN. Then you snuck into your parents room. Pulled your dad's .45 from his sock drawr, and snuck back to your room.

Sitting there, fingering the gun. Both thumbs on the triger, with the music cheering you on. Then you do it. No pain, just a total, and endless black.

Now lets step back for a second. Do you have any idea what kind of mess that would make? Do you realy hate your parents that much? Lots of fluid in the head, not to mention the brain. Basicly a jello like mass. It would all splatter on the wall behind you, and then run down to the floor. Seeping into the carpet.

It's rather hard to remove blood stains from carpet. Not to mention white walls.

In short, don't do it. It's a lot of trouble, and not worth it. Unless of course you are some retarded fuck who doesn't own at least an apple IIe.

Am I starting to scare you? If so, voice your opinion! askxpurple@xpurple.com, your questions will be answered.

Note that I only speak the truth. The one thuth, my truth. Everything I know is true, at least in my mind. Same goes for you. Even if it doesn't agree with mine.

What I'm trying to say, is that thier is no such thing as right and wrong. It's all how you view it. When someone states something is wrong to another, they are only pointing out the general opinion of it's moral status. It makes no real diffrence.

You sit there and judge me, and think it makes a diffrence.

You create your own reality, leave mine to me.

People are killing each other in the streets, but do you care? No. You have bigger things to worry about. What TV shows are you going to watch when you get home? Can you afford that new tape?

It's a sad state things have come to. Life is so good that we simply don't see what else is going on. Nobody cares. Why should they?

When it comes down to it though, neither do I. If it doesn't directly affect me, I could care less. Most things are like that.

I still find myself longing for a girl. I wish I could just get rid of those desires. Bloody useless notion. That would only make my life more complicated than it alredy is. I enjoy it being simple.

But the body wants other things. One day it will get what it desires, but till then it can just bugger off.

I have just impressed a group of people with Apple's new iTunes. Very cool. Almost as good as running full screen video. But better, since it's diffrent every time.

I like the new products that Steve released at MacWorld. Wow, very very cool. He never fails to impress me. And, no. I don't worship him, even though he is cooler than god. Mr. T still beats him. (But it's close)

There are a lot of ugly people in here today. Lots, and lots of ugly people. Oh well, I have no plans to breed with any of them, so it makes no diffrence.

The battery in my iBook isn't lasting nearly as long as it usto. I think it mostly has to do with the Airport card. The two time periods coincide about right. It still sucks when I'm not near a hub.

Drink some bleach!

I've still got christmas music on my computer. Heh.

He was born in a box, sitting on some sand!

So it goes.

Steve finaly set a firm date on the release of OS X. I can hardly wait. This is going to be so super cool. The beta was good, but still needed some work. When it finaly comes out...

Airport support, and more. It's what we have all been waiting for since 8.0 came out. In part, it's Copland and others. What Apple should have done a long time ago. MacOS is one of the few platforms that doesn't have protected memory, and still uses manual memory management. That's one of the biggest things that has needed changing.

Not to mention that the core of MacOS hasn't changed since System 7. Unmoving due to people fearing change. A great problem, but also a good thing in some ways. It meks software more compatable. Things just work better that way.

The best part with Apple, and probably the worst at the same time is thier tie to the hardware. They are the hardware company, and the software company. It makes thier machines work so much better, but ties you in. No other vendors work with it.

Life is strange...

One of the many adams I know is passing out deer jerky. Odd, but harmless. I haven't seen him in quite some time. Basicly since he got fired from the Highway Diner.

My body isn't working right today. I should not tire after walking up a flight of stairs. After explaining to the girls at the courthosue how they should have put thier office on the first floor, they laughed. Apparently they had been trying for the same result a while now.

People only do what's in thier best intrests. That's just natural. Even if it appears they are doing something out of the kindness of thier heart, it's ususaly not the case.

Even in small things, thankless little things thier is something to gain. If nothing else to keep them from being bored. I personaly am to blame for that. Helping out, just because I have nothing better to do.

My teeth don't work so well chewing on this dried meat. Like the rest of my body, they have gotten weak from living here. Eathing nothing but highly processed food. Living in a highly processed life. As if that was the point to life.

Finish smoke, go.

EOF