Thank god that's finaly done...ang was getting realy annoying...I was close to riping into her. I wonder how she would react to that...Probably not good...But the stuff got delivered...and that's a done deal...thank god..I was getting sick of puting up with her shit. All the fucking lies, and such...she's playing those people like a harp...in some ways I envey her...but not in my heart...she's good...Not the kind of person to get involved with...not at all...She uses people, and throws them away...I use people also, but not to that extent...I give something back for thier services...ususaly quite good stuff...I try to make it a fair deal...a good chunk of the reason behind that, is so I can ask for assistance again..so it makes a huge circle...very interesting...and realy not all that diffrent from most of the other people in existence. I have made it very clear to the waitress that I need coffee, and she still will not fill my cup...I don't think I like her...If she does not hury, I will just fill it myself (the coffee pot is located behind the counter). The french fries here suck ass...actualy, the whole place pretty much sucks ass...I'm at the truckers inn in Minasoda, mile marker 59 southbound on I-35. Hmm...I got a couple letters from auriel...that makes me happy inside...shes still alive, and remembers me...that long wait made me think she hated me or something...I will call her sometime tommorow, and see how she's doing...I miss her. At least now where friends again or something like that...I'm still confused about that whole time where no communication happend...I sent a couple e-mails, but to no avail...she said she was busy...it doesn't take long to send an email...but she also was probably confused by the proposition that was poised...I certenly would be. and the opening line to the first message I got a couple days ago was very insitefull...noting that she was the quirky little sister of a friend of mine...makes me think that she has decided not to take up my offer. But that's ok too...I would rather have her as a friend that not at all...The chair I am sitting in sucks ass...it is very unconfterble...and just no fun at all...I have to reposition myself a LOT...I don't think I could sit here for over 1 hour or so...I want to know all the answers...but I think if I did, then I would be severly disapointed...since things would probably be way too simple. I think I spend way too much time in random truck stops writing, and smoking way too many cigerets... But thier are worse things...evil things that I could be doing, rather than just thinking about them. The world today sucks...not just today...not just here...but all around...thier is little care put into making things anymore...it's all fucking factorys...the workers don't give a shit about quality...they just do thier time, and go home...get drunk/high...and wake up the next morning to do it again...This is one thing I have tried to avoid...I've done a pretty good job so far...I put care into every project I do...well, at least most of the time...some projects suck, and I don't realy need to do them anyway...but I am required to...but that is a once in a while event...These are all things I have realized since I got out of school, and joined the real world...I hate the real world...You want to die? So do I...actualy I don't want to die...not yet anyway...too many things to do yet...But when death comes, it will probably be welcomed...Right now I still have things to look forwared to...Pitifal as they realy are...I got a job offer at a radio shack...move down to kansas thursday, and start working...Hopefully start working anyway...Either way it goes...the rent is the same as what it is now, and I like the roomates there better...I like my current roomate...but he gets on my nerves a lot...But I probably get on his nerves too...When I think about myself, and how I feel...I'm not sure I like it too much...I'm almost 21, jump around the county...am a total pervert...in many ways...play with explosives...Break several dozen laws every day...hell...just driving in my car is about 5 broken laws...and I think a 14 year old is the cutest girl I've ever seen...all these things put together might sound romantic, but the truth of it is...it sucks...I am confused most of the time...that is the main reason I wander...But luckely I have a large reserve of $$$ That is the only reason that I'm not lying in a gutter somewhere...instead, I drive a reliable car, and carry around several thousand dollars worth of electronic gear...in the hopes that it will make me happy...sometimes it does...most of the time not. I get kicks listening to other people talking to each other over the phone without them knowing about it...and filming people that don't know thier being filmed...I belive that I am a wakko...But I realy don't know...I also try to help people out...and do a pretty good job of it...but that doesn't alwayse work out...once in a while I try, and fail...and I realy don't know how to deal with failure...danm this battery is lasting a long time...a couple hours of nethack...and then this...Several police in the next isle...hmm...not good...or not bad...depends on a lot of things...Electronic gear is quite expensive...but can be usefull...I also have the habbit of listing to the calls of friends...and family...about six months ago, I got into scanning...thier are all sorts of things that can be listend to with that...I can listen to almost any transmision under the sun...I droped half a paycheck on the latest and greatest scanner that just came out...and I'm not shure if I like it as much as the first one I got...It just works funny...My entire body hurts...I'm not shure that an 8 hour drive is the best of ideas...but thier are worse things that I could do...about half of them leagal...I have been thinking about driving down to florida...but I think that the trip would be pointless...Totaly pointless...And since I can't realy afford to do that anyway...I should realy just not think about it anymore...but that doesn't help...I have been able to find ways to get where I want to go...but this time it's just not right...I have been offerd a job...when I need one...and I must take it up...that is needed most. It's the same senaro when I started at the brickery...I needed a job...and I was offered one...and then as a secuirty gaurd...I was desperate...applied for 1 job...only one...and was hired the next day...then this...and the guy was cool with waiting a week...and that's good...since I needed a week to wait...its 0004...and I'm in a truck stop in MN...Since I got here, my battery gauge has not moved a bit...I should realy get moving again...but I'm kina curious on how long it will last, and kina want to wait till it dies...I've got time...I don't need to be anywhere till 1000 thursday...and that's only in kansas...only about 700 miles away...and I have like 32 hours to get there...8 hours to beatrice, and 3 hours there...so I have some time to waste...as though not much...I think I'm just going to take off after this smoke...I've got stuff to get done...danm images that keep flashing in my head...its driving me mad...I wish I could just make them stop...I think I'm going crazy...I know I am...I'm certen of it...EOF