After reading Brightsun's memorys (a file he wrote of the last year or so), I decide to draw a few conclusions.

Somehow I doubt these would be appriciated, but here they are none the less.

Ang did what she did to get back at us. We screwed her world, so she screwed ours. Sorta.

It was a fun ride, at least for me. But, I'm a lot harder to hurt than Brightsun is. For me, most anything is taken in stride. Just keep moving on, don't worry about the details too much. Ususaly can get somebody else to deal with that part. If a place/situation/person has lost usefullness to me, I just move on to the next.

Most of all, reading this, and thinking about this makes me think. It makes me think that I'm an evil person. Though I know I'm not. I've done a lot of good things, and helped out a lot of people. Quite often helping just to relive my own bordem. For, that in itself is a use for them. To entertain me. But, it works out well on thier end also. Most often, they never realize what they realy are to me. Toys. Not that it's bad. But, they probably wouldn't understand if I told them. Denial would set in. But, as of now, I realy have no toys per say. The only people I communiate with on a regular basis are good friends, the kind that hang around for a long time. The kind that I will do things I don't want to do to help out.

All very odd. For in Brightsun's life, I've been little more than a passive observer. But, when needed, a sholder to cry on. Somebody to listen. To try and help. Somebody who cares. He's worth the trouble, for he is the same to me. He fills some of the gaps. I'm a teribly unbalanced person. Mostly missing common sence. He keeps me from doing *REALY* stupid things. But, not all the time.

The last year or so was fun. I enjoyed it very much (mostly). Learned a lot about myself. Learned a lot about my best friends. Both are inportant.

As of late, I've learned much more about a certan friend. Makes me sad, but I will be of help through their time of trouble. They are worth it. I may extrapolate at a later date, but this is not the time for it. Things have to run thier course. It's the natural order of things.

One thing that this all makes me think of, is what next? I mean, what is the next step? I have so many options. But, so few at the same time. Places I want to go, and things I want to do. But some of them can't happen yet. It's not the right time for it. But, that time will be here before long.

EOF