Stuff happens, it's just the normal way of things. It may seem to make no sence at the time, but later on in life it will. Quite often, later is much later. After understanding realy doesn't help you...only makes you say 'OH!'. Giving you a feeling that you have actualy done something with your life. Somethin that looked realy pointless at the time, but in the end made a huge diffrence...mostly in the pointless lives of others.

This is one such event.

I sit here eating a big bowl of super puffs (cerial), while thinking deeply about life, What is realy going on, And, what to do about it.

Life is simple. Very simple. People make it out to be a *LOT* more than it is. You live, and you die. Everything else that happens in between realy doesn't make much diffrence. The entire reason we exist is to reproduce. That's it. We where not some great god's creation. We just are. Thier is little ryme or reason to it. Life is chaos. Order can be found it it though. But, order from chaos happens all the time. Think about how life came to be. Given an infinite number of combanations of things, one of them worked to create a single celled animal. Then, chaos caused it to change, or evolve. Many steps later, here we are. Realy not much diffrent.

I'm shure at this point that you have realized what I'm realy trying to do. I'm flirting the subject. I like to do that sometimes, ususaly when I realy want to talk about something, but don't know how to start. Some things are realy hard to talk about, even though they shouldn't be.

Feelings

They happen, they change.

Do idea why. Sometimes you don't know why. Most often, when it's real, you realy can't put a finger on it. You just know. Like certan feelings that I have, certan feelings that have caused me great torment. Because they contradict each other. But are also similar at the same time. Realy confusing prospect. They involve a girl I know. A girl I've known for quite some time now. The instresting part, is that the feelings have changed over time, starting out as an 'infatuation' of sorts, then moving on to something else I can't explain, then to a feeling of love, but not in the way most people think. More into the way a brother loves his sister, But not quite the same, mixed in with a bit of the normal type. Very complex situation. I cannot even begin to understand the full ramafacations that it will cause. I give her advice, done in her best intrest. More than I like, the advice hurts, it hurts to give her advice on catching somebody else she likes. But, I'd be less of a person if I did everything to fullfil my own desires. My desires don't make much diffrence in this matter. At the right time, they will come into play. But, it's not the time, or place for that yet. Neither of us are ready.

Life is wierd, eventualy I'll get the hang of it. (maby)

At least I can write HTML without actualy thinking about doing it, it just kina flows out. And, yes, I'm flirting the subject again. Don't you hate me for it? A perverse pleasure I get from you reading this...knowing that you expect me too tell you more. You realy want to know more about this document, you want to know more about me. You also realize that you realy don't understand me. You will, but it will take time. And, at the date of this writeing, you arn't ready for it yet. But, the time will come before you know it. Quite soon.

I bid my time
Stand in line
Wait and see
Know it to be

Watch and wait
Don't be late
Extremely bold
Time has told

The answer known
Not to die alone
It is to be
You will see

Now, just doesn't that just leave you wanting more? I know it does ;)

Catch me on icq sometime, and I may explain it to you sometime...The deep meaning behind that bit of text, or poem. I enjoy being realy vauge at times. That way the message only goes to who I want it to. Kina like writeing in a code, but not nearly as obvious.

Get on your feet, and *DANCE*

no, wait

Hold on for a minuite

not ready for this quite yet

hehe...am I confusing you yet?

I will explain it to you, just ask...but not today, not tommorow, not next week...it will be much later than any of those dates. But, it will be soon enouh for me. At the time you decide you want the answers. At some point in time, I may even tell you other things I know. Other things I've seen. But those will not come untill much, much later. I'm still not ready, or will be ready to discuss some of those things for many years to come. If ever, some of those things I wish I didn't know, or had not seen.

More later, I enjoy talking to you...

EOF