Bloody thoughts

i keep having these thoughts go through my mind, i can't seem to stop them. About times so far gone, they keep me up at night. I can't sleep. They invade my dreams, and my life. I keep rethinking situations, over, and over again, finding my mistakes, and fixing them, to run the situation over again with corrections made, only to have to do it again. It hurts deep inside, i made too many mistakes. The info was presented in such an ovious method. It took me 2 years to figure out one of the messages. A message that should have taken moments. But i was too literail to understand it at the time. From this i ponder trying to forget, or receify the situation. Neither of witch seem like good options. For at this point i have tried both. The first did not work, and the second got no reply. At least not one i recived. the longer i wait the worse it gets.